Friendliness – The Language of the Buddhas

I want to begin this article by sharing a small incident that took place this morning. I was on facebook a couple of minutes ago and there was a post about dogs. We all know the amount of reactions and comments that such posts attract.

Anyway, I was scrolling through the comments and I found this one comment that had the maximum number of likes and reactions. I will quote the exact words written in the comment:

“Universal fact / axiom of life – Dogs > Humans.

Keep fighting over this comment but I’ll never disagree with this fact. Wish dogs lived 100 years and we humans only for 10-20 years”.

I don’t know what your reaction to this comment would be, but as a human being reading this, it made me really sad. What made it even worse is that a lot of people agreed. So, I went through this feeling of disgust and anger for a while and I then realised the play of existence. As disgusted as I felt in that moment, after a while, I realised that this can be used as a great opportunity for me to start today’s article.

I don’t think there was any generation prior to ours that respected and loved dogs or any pets for that matter as much as our generation does. The good thing is that we have learnt to show our compassion towards beings that are lower than us in terms of consciousness. The bad thing is this – we have become hateful towards our own species.

All the great things in life are achieved through small events of goodness that take place initially. The other side of this is also true – all evil or vice in the world stem from situations that seem very trivial in the moment. This dog incident that I shared may be a very trivial thing. It may not even be a big deal to most people reading this, but to me, the smallest things in life are big deal.

Just as a huge oak tree begins its life from being just a small seed, so do things in life that are evil, spout from circumstances and situations that may seem insignificant at first.

Buddha has spoken about compassion as one of the essential qualities of a spiritual seeker and I have this strong feeling that a lot of us do not really understand compassion for what it truly is. Compassion is the ultimate, and therefore, one cannot cultivate it as part of oneself unless the basics are understood.

To understand a tree, you need to know the seed. If a farmer for example has no knowledge of a seed and its potential, he won’t take the first step to plant the seed in the soil. Compassion is the tree, and to understand it, you need to understand friendliness. Friendliness is the seed from which compassion comes forth into existence.

  • Love and non-violence – the compassion of Jesus and Mahavir:

I would like to give you an understanding of friendliness through the perspective of three renowned mystics – Buddha, Jesus, and Mahavir. Buddha emphasises on compassion as being supreme. Jesus emphasises love to be supreme to an extent that he equates God with it. Mahavir emphasises on non-violence. Therefore, according to these great masters of the world, compassion, love and non-violence are all supreme qualities that a human being needs to develop, but here is the big problem – these qualities are impossible to develop or practice.

Try to be compassionate and you will fail. All Buddhists around the world have  been trying to be compassionate and they have failed. You cannot try to be compassionate. You are either compassionate, or you aren’t.

Also, if you are somebody who thinks that they understand love better than compassion, try to love your enemy and you will see that your love is nothing but a pretension. The enemy helps you see your love as false. Jesus, throughout his life has been telling people to love, and their love went so deep that they ended up crucifying the very same person who gave them one of the greatest teachings of life. Do you get the picture now? If not, try to understand the non-violence of Mahavir.

The more non-violence you try to develop in your life, the more violent you will become. The Jains throughout the world were the most non-violent people you would find, but if you ever come across a Jain Muni which is equivalent to a Buddhist Bhikku, you will see violence all around him – he has given up violating people outside and he has become violent towards himself.

He will go through unnecessary starvation, pull his hair out and do all sorts of things that clearly portray violence – the only difference is that he does it to himself and not to others, but how does this make any difference? To annihilate violence means to be non-violent to others – This is absolutely true, but it also means to be non-violent to yourself because the other is just as much part of you as you are part of the other and in violating yourself, you also violate the other person, but in an indirect way.

Indian women for example have understood this very well and therefore you will find that whenever a woman here in India hates her husband, she will become violent towards herself. She will not beat her husband, but she will beat herself – of course, this was the past and it does not happen as often as it used to years ago, but even today, women in India and around the world have their own ways of portraying violence.

When a woman hates her husband, she will start to eat too much and grow fat, she won’t dress well while she is with him, she won’t groom herself, she will be unkind towards her children and so on. There are hundreds of ways through which violence can assert itself and the more cunning a human being becomes, the more subtle will be his violence.

Adolf Hitler is a simple man; if he has to portray violence, he will just throw you inside a gas chamber, but in my vision, we all carry a Adolf Hitler within us. The only difference is that our violence is more sophisticated than Hitler’s. It has to be. I mean, it has been more than 5 decades since Hitler is gone and so of course, over the years, people come up with more sophisticated techniques to show violence. Along with technology, the negativity that is part of human beings also becomes advanced.

When a human being shows love to a dog or any animal for that matter, he is indirectly showing hatred towards human beings. What he is indirectly saying is that I hate human beings and so, just to appear as being loving and kind, I will love a dog, but if you notice, the dog or the pet here is just an excuse to avoid violence and hatred.

By avoiding situations that make us violent, angry, and impatient, we are suppressing these negative emotions within ourselves which is bound to show up some day or another – This is how non-violence and hatred come from the back door? Therefore, never try to be compassionate, loving, or non-violent in life – it is impossible.

If Buddha was alive today in flesh, he would give you a knock on your head if you even uttered the word compassion from the place where you stand. Compassion, Love, and Non-violence are part of your dreams right now. For you, they have no basis in reality.

  • Start with Friendliness:

Like I said before, compassion, love, and non-violence are all higher virtues in life and to develop these higher virtues, one has to learn the basic language of friendliness that all the Buddha’s learn. What is friendliness? Friendliness is the fragrance that all men and women are born with. We are all born with friendliness within us and this is one of the basic energies that one has to work with.

When a child is born, he is immensely friendly. His friendliness is so authentic that he freely expresses all of his emotions, both positive and negative towards those around him without any judgement or idea of what his relationship with the other person is. He is so authentic that he will show hatred towards the same person whom he was loving towards a moment ago.

Through a child, we come to an understanding that friendliness means authenticity. If you are authentic, you will automatically become friendly, but because we have built these ships which we call “relationships”, we lose our authenticity.

All human beings have laid relationships as a foundation for the important virtues in life. For love, we have marriage, for care and compassion, we have family, and even for friendliness, we have developed a false foundation of friendship.

Authentic virtues like love, compassion and friendliness cannot stand on false foundations of marriage, family, and friendship – this is not only mathematically and logically true, but also true existentially.

When a child comes to this earth, he has nothing but his friendliness and authenticity to give, but sooner or later, he gets entangled with all these egoistic human relationships that we have built around these authentic virtues. He then starts to hold these relationships as prime and forgets the essence of love, compassion, and friendliness that were supposed to be part of these relationships. He holds on to the false and he drops the truth. It is almost like opening a chocolate wrapper and throwing the chocolate into the dustbin instead of the wrapper, but this is how it has become with human beings. We have thrown all our sweets into the dustbin and we start hoarding our wrappers. Relationships are nothing but wrappers.

  • Lossen your grip on Relationships:

When practicing dharma, loosen your grip on relationships and give more emphasis on that which is authentic. Friendliness is the basis of all human relationships. Jesus always says to his disciples, “Be a child and enter the kingdom of heaven”. It has been over 2000 years since Jesus has uttered this statement and I am here to remind you the truth in it all over again.

Just do it and see how your life transforms. Be a child and the whole existence becomes yours. Be a child and you will become meditative and all those virtues that you’ve been struggling to develop in your life will come into your life so easily that you will be astonished.

Therefore, be a child, don’t try to become, because you already are a child. We are all children pretending to be adults. Put an end to this pretension and be what you are. To be a child means to be friendly. The question is not about how to develop friendliness because if you try to develop it, again, you will destroy the possibility of developing those higher virtues.

Becoming itself means inauthenticity. Therefore, just settle down into yourself, sit down silently and be. Just be, and you will start to develop friendliness. You will feel a certain fragrance coming out of you and this fragrance can manifest itself as anger or even as love, but be the fragrance and do not be indifferent towards one particular type of fragrance.

When your wife or husband hates you, the hate is only on the surface – this hatred is their fragrance in the moment which is manifesting as filth. Deep down, there is love and because there is love, there is hatred as well. The day people stop hating you is the day they have stopped loving you as well. Anyway, that is a whole new topic of discussion altogether which we can talk about another time, but for now, my only message to you is to be friendly.

  • Avoid Friendship:

You are already friendly the way you are and so, to be friendly is not as much of a challenge as you may think it is. Also, let go of all friendships and just be friendly. At least leave friendliness out of the domain of relationships. I don’t care if your compassion, love, and patience is inauthentic because those virtues are all far away from the place you stand.

I am concerned with what is true for you in the moment. In the moment, the truth is that you are friendly, but to understand and see the truth in that, you will have to take off the blindfold of friendship which you are wearing.

What is your friendship anyway? If a friend says that they can’t meet you on a particular day for drinks or just to hang out, you get mad at them – this is all that your friendship is. Your friendship is simply enmity, jealousy, hatred, lonliness, and sorrow turned upside down. Give up all this nonsense.

Avoid friendship at all costs because I’ve had friendships with many people in the past and I’ve realised that friends are nothing but two or more people sitting together talking shit about a common enemy – this is how confined your friendliness is.

Your friendliness is so confined that you make friendships just so that you can hate or gossip about others and therefore, my understanding is that friendship is the basis for enmity.

At the beginning of all friendships, you gossip about and show hatred towards other people. As friendship grows, you become enemies with each other because somehow, you get tired of gossiping and hating on others – you then start to hate your own friend, and to do that more efficiently, you make some new friends with whom you can gossip with about your old friend.

Slowly, as years go by, you look around and you find that everybody has become your enemy and the person who is your friend right now in the present is nothing but your enemy in the future – this is why we look around and see an ugly world. No other human being is responsible for it except you.

Stop blaming humans and comparing them with your pets saying that your pets are better than humans. The truth is that you have given rise to this ugly humanity which you keep pointing fingers at. The moment you put an end to your gossips about others and look within, you take the first step towards friendliness.

Friendliness is not a gossip; friendliness is a communion between two or more hearts. Friendliness is all there is to a human being and if one settles down in ones being, one will find this vast ocean of friendliness that is there waiting to express itself.

  • Final Words:

Friendliness is the language of the Buddhas. All Buddhas, Christs, and Mahavirs start with friendliness. To learn the divine language of love, compassion and non-violence, you have to learn the human language of friendliness.

You may have all heard the story of Buddha leaving his palace. That was Buddha’s way of saying goodbye to all relationships. Every mystic has had to go through this struggle of giving up all human relationships including friendship. You can only be a true friend when you have given up friendship and the day you know what it means to be a friend, all other qualities will come forth.

These words, I have written with the hope that you begin your spiritual journey with friendliness. To you, these may seem like words but to me, these are not just words. These curves that shape themselves in the form of words are part of my whole life. They are part of who I am in this moment as I’m typing these words. I was fortunate enough to start my spiritual journey back in 2014 with an understanding of friendliness and I want to give this gift to you as well.

I may not be a Buddha as yet, or to say it more clearly, I may not be the most compassionate, loving or non-violent human being you may come across, but from where I am right now, I can certainly give you a share of this friendlfridnliness that I am in this moment – Please, take a sip.

#MeToo, Sexual Abuse, and the Modern Generation

There has been a lot of talk recently related to rape, molestation, and sexual abuse and as a man, it has got me thinking – What is wrong with the men of our generation? Recently, I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed and came across a lot of friends, both men and women sharing their stories of how they had been victims of sexual misconduct. There were a couple of my Facebook buddies who were probably not comfortable sharing their story and so, they just put up a status with the ‘metoo’ hashtag.

At first, I was a little confused as to what was going on until I did some more research and learnt about the entire “metoo campaign” that was started by a simple post by a celebrity asking people to share their sexual abuse story with the hashtag, metoo. What was the purpose? To get a sense of the magnitude of the sexual abuse problem that goes on around the world.

As much as I’d want to give you a straightforward opinion of what I think about the campaign, I feel the need to first explain and bring you to an understanding of a few things before I could come to a conclusion of whether I feel this simple campaign is any good or is it merely a way for people to rant about their problems.

First of all, I would like to start off by discussing few of the issues that most women around the world commonly highlight when it comes to abuse and the way women are treated in general by men around the world.

  • Society does not Allow Women to speak up:

I’ve heard a lot of people especially women tell me that the society is designed in such a way that it treats women in an unfair and unjust manner. Basically, women are not allowed to express themselves especially when it comes to talking about their insecurities. Women are told by society that they should not speak about their abuse or the childhood traumas they’ve been through.

I am really sorry to say, but that is not true especially in the generation we live. If you can talk about your abuse on a social network and let your entire friend list know about it without being afraid, then why would you fear to talk about your abuse with a friend, family member, or a close relative? I mean, think about it. You have a couple of hundred followers on twitter or maybe a thousands, a few hundreds or thousands of followers on Instagram and perhaps hundreds of friends on your facebook friend list out of which you may barely have a deep connection with a bunch of those friends.

So, basically, what you’re saying is that you have the courage to share your story on a public platform where you hardly know anybody, but you aren’t willing to share your problem with someone close to you?

Strange, isn’t it? This tells me that we live in a generation where getting sympathy or attention is more important than getting a problem solved. We live in a generation where men and women are no longer concerned with getting rid of their problems, but instead, they would rather talk about, and discuss about their problems on the world wide web. Why? The reason is simple. The ego craves for attention and sympathy and you get loads of that on the internet.

Let me share with you a story of one of my friends who had been molested many times as a child by her cousin. This friend of mine is a beautiful woman and the first time I met her, we connected very well. Soon, she shared her sad story with me and unfortunately, due to all thetraumatic experiences she went through as a young girl, she has developed a condition where she is unable to have sex with any man. Her vagina has become tight. Moreover, the moment she tries to insert her finger in, she feels pain.

When I heard this story for the first time, I was deeply hurt. I thought maybe, I should do something to help her out – maybe find a good gynaecologist or a therapist to help her get rid of this problem. That’s exactly what I tried to do. I had a close friend who conducts therapy sessions with people and help them get rid of their traumas. I contacted him and asked if he could help her. He said yes.

I was all excited to help my friend get rid of her problem. We scheduled an appointment with this therapist friend of mine. Everything was decided – the day, the time, and the place to meet. The night before we could meet, I get a text on my phone from her saying that a friend of hers had unexpectedly decided to go out on a vacation for a few days and she booked her air tickets on the same day and flew to Goa.

A few weeks before this as well, I tried to help her out and every time I would meet this friend of mine, she would continuously complain about how stressed out she feels. On various occasions I tried to help her out, but unfortunately, she would meet me with the same problems that she had a few weeks prior to the present meeting

I then had an aha moment. I realised that most people do not really like getting rid of their problems. This is especially true in the case of women. One of the major issue with most women is that they do not really want to get rid of their problems. They in fact take a lot of pleasure in talking about their problems – this gives their ego a certain boost.

What about men you may ask? Men as well are in the same boat, but men are different. Men do not make a big deal out of their problems. They may go through a thousand and one problems and perhaps, their problems may be even more serious than women, but they someone ignore them and move on.

Oh, what a misogynistic pig you are Herman! Before you come to conclude that, allow me to explain what I’ve just said. You see, men are not emotional. The truth is that men face just as much problems as women. A lot of men have also faced abuse, but due to the fact that we are not emotional, we settle down and feel at ease quickly.

  • The Problem with Men:

With that being said, men have another problem which is the equivalent of a woman’s emotional attachment and that is sexuality. Just the way women are way too attached to their emotions and cannot get rid of them, men are obsessed with sex and just cannot think beyond it.

A mystic named Barry Long had once said, “All men are sex obsessed without any exception”. As a man, I must admit that the statement that Barry Long had made had wounded my male ego to a significant extent the first time I heard it, but then, I thought about it for a while and I realised, the guy is not wrong either. I mean, men are sex obsessed and certainly without exception. Well, there may be a few exceptions but those exceptions are so negligible that they can easily be ignored.

To me, yes, certainly, all men are sex obsessed and especially in the modern generation we live in, this sexual obsession has been amplified a thousand times more with social media and all the technology that is made available to us.

Women as well have become overly emotional over the years and ever since social media has come into picture, it has become easier than ever before to gain attention and sympathy and boost your ego.

  • The Truth:

The truth is that problems like sex abuse, rape, molestation have always existed in the past just as much as it is our present reality. So why are we talking about it now? SImple, we have a platform to speak about and vent our emotions.

What can we do about it? We need to stop complaining. Ranting about your problems on social media is not going to help. In fact, it will make the problem even more worse. Men will start to feel guilty about themselves.

The funny thing is that those men who are really responsible for such abuse are not going to feel guilty because guess what? These men are secretly plotting their next victim. Also, such men who victimise women do not roam around in the open or make themselves visible to the public.

  • The Solution:

When I first learnt about mysticism and spirituality and started to apply it into my life, I was told that the world is divine. Every human being is an embodiment of God. These statements were far from true when I first heard them – at least that is what I had felt years ago.

A few years down the line, I gave up reading the news, watching the television and began to dissociate myself with all the negativity that I was surrounded with. Does this mean that I turned a blind eye or a deaf ear to everything that was happening in the world? Not really, but I was just trying to find my ground. I spent all of my time in getting a grip over my own life and getting back on track.

Today, just like before, I see a lot of problems that are part of society. I see women being abused and it makes me sad. I see men around the world trying to use women and treat them like sex objects and it makes me feel sad. I also see a lot of women being way too obsessed with their emotions which is why they get cheated on and taken for granted, but today, I see all of these problems from a totally different light

A society where men are not taught how to come to terms with their sexuality and women are not taught how to get a grip over their emotions cannot be a happy society.

Therefore, all of these campaigns and movements as I see them are just ways to get attention. If people are really interested in solving their problems then there is always a human being out there who can help – it is just that your mind is too much clouded with emotional junk and sexuality to see the good that is out there.

Women especially should not feel like there is no help. There are thousands of good men out there who are willing to give their time and attention to a woman. Also, there are thousands of women out there who are not all sluts as most men try to claim.

Existence always maintains a balance. Bad cannot exist without good and for every negative individual out there, there is a positive individual waiting to come into your experience only if you are willing to see the divine in every person you come across.

  • Final Words:

So, in the end, has #MeToo helped? Has it given us a sense of magnitude of the problems that men and women face? I don’t think so. This small campaign just like every other campaign or movement will only amplify problems.

Every human being goes through problems in life. The question to ask oneself is – Do I want to complain about it for the rest of my life, or do I want to get rid of it? If you want to get rid of it, then trust me, you will always find someone to help you out of your problem.

The existence of a problem is proof enough that a solution exists otherwise the problem wouldn’t be there. Another thing I’d like to highlight here is that it all depends on what you look for in the world. For example, let us say that we start a similar campaign like the me too only with a slight difference – Rather than trying to get a clue of the magnitude of problems that we face, lets ask people whether they’ve ever met someone who has changed their life for the better with the hashtag #metoo. I bet you would have just as much respone as the present metoo campaign got.

The truth is that there is a lot of good out there but the media only makes negativity go viral. We only hightlight and talk about the stupidity of the society. We barely acknowledge the good, and the lesser you acknowledge the good, the more bad will contune to prevail in the world. The more negativity you highlight, the more depressed, anxious and negative people will feel – all of this will slowly but surely create a vibe of negativity and we will turn this world into a living hell.

With all of that being said, I am not asking for you to be optimistic. All I am asking is for you to be realistic. Dont be optimistic, don’t be pessimistic – just be real and practical. If you see things the way they are, only then can you come up with proper solutions to help humanity.

As far as women are concerned, each woman should keep in mind that she needs to stop being emotional about her problems. She needs to be strong like a man to find a solution to her problems and not make a big deal about them no matter how serious her problems may be.Men as well need to learn from women that life is not only for sex. There are more beautiful things which are part of life such as love, connection, and friendliness. If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood and get a grip of their emotions, then she would always come across and meet the right man who can help her grow and achieve the real purpose of her life which is to love and be loved.

Men as well need to learn from women that life is not only for sex. There are more beautiful things which are part of life such as love, connection, and friendliness which all women crave for but unfortunately, because women are not left with any other option these days, they settle down for casual sex, promiscuous relationships or worse, abusive relationships. The truth is that every woman is love.If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood and get a grip of their emotions, then she would always come across and meet the right man who can help her grow and achieve the real purpose of her life which is to love and be loved.

If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood themsevles and get a grip of their emotions, then they would always come across and meet the right men who can help them grow and achieve the real purpose of life which is to love and be loved.

To me, this is the true definition of women empowerment. Woman empowerment is not about portraying a facade of strength on the outside while being emotional and weak on the inside. To me, woman empowerment is a woman’s ability to love in such a way that she makes the entire world a haven where human beings can again feel a sense of warmth and love.

Right now, the world is too cold and this coldness can only disappear if we start to approach our problems the right way and be open about it with people who can really solve them and not a bunch of strangers or followers over the interent who will give us a like or a retweet and amplify the problem in front of the world. Remenber, a solution helps, sympathy does not. There are millions of people who will sympathise with you, but just a few who can truly love you.

I Want you all to know that the problems which we are talking about right now have always existed and will continue to exist in the future in one form or another unless we do something to get rid of the problem on the fundamental level.

I would like to have your opinion on this. What are your thoughts? Also, if you’re going through a problem in your life or if you just have a question that you need to ask related to personal development or growth as an individual, feel free to email me at I would be glad to help you out or write an article which would give you an insight on your problem.

Also, If you feel that this article can be of help to someone you know, please feel free to share it.

Law of Attraction – Why does it not work for me?

The Law of Attraction has become one of the most widely talked about topics ever since people got introduced to the secret. The first time I began writing, I was a little skeptical whether I should talk about the Law of Attraction simply because to me, a lot of people use the Law of Attraction for very trivial things in life. I somehow felt that the Law of Attraction had become just another way for people to fulfill their own selfish desires. To a major extent I was right, but over the years things have changed and I’ve noticed a lot of people use the Law of Attraction in order to move beyond the ordinary, mundane life. This is what motivates me to write this article.

One of the problems that people face in using the Law of Attraction is the fact that manifestation seems like an arduous process. There are two major reasons why this happens which I’d like to discuss.

  • Procrastination:

Procrastination is one of the major reasons why people are unable to manifest. The Law of Attraction is not just a thought oriented process, but an action oriented process as well. Of course, we all need to start with thought, but then, do not get stuck there for too long.

The process of thinking can be very pleasurable especially when you are thinking beautiful thoughts of attracting that beautiful partner, manifesting a vacation, making millions of dollars and so on. This pleasurable feeling of thought is what gets most people hooked.

Thinking then becomes not only a habit, but an addiction. This is where procrastination begins. Procrastination is basically an outcome of excessive thinking.

In my own life, there were times when I had everything in place. I knew exactly what I needed to do in order to attract a certain thing. Unfortunately, I feel into the trap of excessive thinking which thereby delayed the process of manifestation.

A lot of people talk about inspired action, but when you get so addicted to thoughts, you refrain from taking that inspired action.

A few other people complain that they do not know what action needs to be taken in order for manifestation to take place, but this is not true. Everybody is inspired to take the next step. It is just that we are too lazy to do that. The mind will say, “Hey, before you could take that action, you might want to just think a little more; perhaps, you did not exactly specify what you want”. This is how the mind helps you to procrastinate by making you feel that you still need to do more thinking.

The moment you feel that an action needs to be taken, ignore the mind completely. You will feel that you probably need to put more thought into the thing which you’re trying to attract, but always remember that inspired action comes only when your thoughts have reached a certain peak. An inspired action is an indication that you do not need to think anymore. Just act. The heart never procrastinates. It is the mind that procrastinates.

Initially the mind is very useful in the process of attracting, but you need to listen to your heart ultimately in order for you to see a tangible version of your desire.

  • Getting Rid of the Past:

There is a saying that you cannot solve your problems with the same thinking which you used when you created them. Most people directly dive into the process of attracting a certain situation or circumstance without getting rid of that old mind which had been engineered in such a way that no matter what you do, the end product which is manufactured is misery.

Yes, you may attract a beautiful partner, or a career, but all these things are just superficial. After a while, you would realize that all of these things which you have been attracting after applying the Law of Attraction are simply ugly things that have been delivered to you by the universe in attractive packages.

The problem is not the universe, but your old mind. Your thought patterns, your old habits, and your negativity will keep manifesting itself in beautiful forms. Unless you do not get rid of it, there is no possibility to attract anything beautiful in your life.

So before you could even start applying the Law of Attraction, it is important that you take the time to be present and get rid of any negativity that may have happened in the past. Meditation is one of the best ways to let go of the past. Once you have gotten rid of your past, then attracting a desired circumstance becomes a cakewalk.

What are your thoughts on this? Do share your views and opinions in the comments. If there is any specific topic that you’d like me to cover related to the Law of Attraction or any other topic related to spirituality or mysticism, do let me know in the comments or via email.

All or Nothing – The courage to put everything at stake!

Courage is one of the greatest virtues that a person can develop during his life on this earth. Unfortunately, most people do not understand what courage is at all. What most people understand as courage is simply cowardice.

All growth in life arises out of courage. Courage involves a lot of things, but one of the most important things to understand about courage is the fact that you need to put everything at stake. To talk about courage may be very interesting, but if you lack the ability to put everything at stake, then you will never come to an understanding of the joy, bliss and ecstasy that life holds for an individual.

I have tried my best to live a joyful life for years and I had always failed. I tried to play safe in life. I used to live life on a motto that everything should be done with a certain limit. Living a limited life is like having one foot in the grave and the other foot in the world – you are neither living, nor dying. Do you think a person who lives like this can ever be happy?

All of us are living like that. When I speak of the fact that we’re living a limited life, what I mean is that we are living in such a way that everything remains safe. Living a safe life means to calculate each step that you take. Most people think that this is an intelligent way of living, because a man who calculates never makes any mistake.

We are conditioned to believe that a person who does not make any mistakes is an intelligent person. The exact opposite is true. A person who makes no mistakes is unintelligent because to calculate means to plan. To plan for the future means that you cannot rely on your intelligence.

Therefore millions of people settle down with a perfect road map for their entire lives. Everything is already decided. The age you’re going to graduate, the job you’ll be working for, the age when you will get married, the kind of life you would live at the time of retirement, the amount of money you will collect so that there is no worry for the future and things like these.

  • One of the Most important Lessons in life:

One of the most important lessons that I have learnt in my life is that you can either have everything in the world, or absolutely nothing. There are no exceptions to this rule. If you try to stand somewhere in between and play safe, you will fail.

Years ago when I left my job to pursue my dream, my parents became very afraid, because I had left my job at a very crucial stage of my life. I was at a stage where in a few years my parents would be expecting me to get married, make a family and live a settled life. I was in complete agreement with them until I came to a point where life seemed really meaningless.

Yes, I was living a fairly happy life. I had a decent job, I was getting paid enough to support myself and my future, but I thought to myself, is this what life is all about? Something within me wanted to become more. It was not that I was sick or my job or anything. Neither did I feel like I needed to work at some other place. I felt absolutely meaningless. I left my job and spent more than two years simply trying to get my life sorted. I would spend hours of my time reading spiritual books.

  • Unconcerned about the Future:

I had forgotten my entire future. All that was real for me was me and my hearts longing to become more. At that time, I couldn’t really define what that “more” was. My parents and my friends would keep asking me, what are you upto? I would simply say that I was just enjoying myself. I would keep reading books, listening to spiritual discourses, reading scriptures and so on. I enjoyed doing that, but I had no clue why I was doing it.

When I was doing none of those activities, I would simply sit for hours in silence. My parents had given up on me completely. Years later I realised that I had become a completely new person. I wasn’t the same person I used to be before.

  • All or Nothing:

When I look back at my life, what I realised is that I had come to a point where I had made a clear decision that I was either going to die with absolutely nothing, or everything that life holds for me.

I would have been living a very peaceful life today had I chosen to continue to do what I was doing, but I would have been living a dead life.

All or nothing is now my basic standpoint in life. Life can become beautiful only when you can put such a condition in front of yourself that you are either going to have everything, or have nothing at all.

  • Half Bread is just as Bad as no Bread:

A lot of people think that it is impossible to put everything at stake. We feel that putting everything at stake is crazy because we believe that having something is better than to have nothing at all. Half bread is better than no bread – this is people’s motto in life. In my own life, that saying applies only when It comes to food. With everything else in life, half bread is not at all better, but dangerous too.

I would rather die starving with no bread, than to taste half a bread and then wish that I could have just one more bite. It is strange that in the entire world very few people become enlightened. Once in a while you will come across people like Buddha, Mahavir, Krishna, or Jesus. Such people are rare, not because enlightenment is not everybody’s right, but because not everybody is willing to put everything at stake.

  • Putting everything at Stake is a spiritual quality:

In all religious traditions, the idea of renunciation is almost a norm. In my view renunciation should not be taken literally, but you need to understand the idea behind renunciation. The idea is to put those things in life at stake which at the moment provide you comfort and convenience.

If you look at the life of a mystic, almost every mystic without any exception has renounced something or the other. Buddha had renounced his wealth and family, Jesus gave up his life, Mahavir renounced his clothes. Are all of these people mad or what? One thing is certain – either Buddha, Mahavir and all of these mystics who keep doing such crazy things are mad, or the rest of the world who are living in comfort are mad.

Both cannot be mad, and so, obviously it is not these mystics who are mad, but we who are actually mad. The proof of that lies in the fact that we are still suffering in life.

Therefore, to end suffering, renunciation had become a fundamental teaching, but due to our lack of understanding we have not really understood what renunciation really is.

  • What is Renunciation?

Renunciation simply means to renounce mediocrity. Yes you can renounce money, power, prestige and all of these things but after renouncing all of these things if you still remain mediocre you have renounced nothing at all.

For example, when Buddha left his palace, he didn’t really renounce his palace. His life in that palace had become a routine. He was bored of it. He was living a monotonous, mediocre life. He had reached a point where if he did not renounce his palace, he would have gone insane.

Buddha wanted to live a life of freedom and the Palace had become a bondage. He couldn’t breathe there, so he decided to give it up. Remember that Buddha didn’t give up his wealth at all, in fact, he was in search of a more subtle kind of wealth which he calls Nirvana.

If you look at all the things that mystics have renounced, you would realise that they were actually renouncing their mediocrity. A man can renounce his mediocrity only when he can see the possibility of having something more.

  • Final Words:

To give up all of those things in life in order to achieve something higher is the only real transaction in life. I call this the spiritual transaction. The risk is that you may not achieve what you’re looking for. This is why people don’t put everything at stake. The reason why people prefer to live in comfort is because results are not guaranteed when you give it all up. There is always that element of uncertainty which comes with giving up.

When it comes to the spiritual world, nothing is guaranteed. You may die like a beggar, but one of the most satisfying experiences at the time of death is to know that you tried your best. The search for God may not necessarily lead towards finding God. There are many people who have never found God, but even then, you will notice that they are contented.

This is one of the strangest things in the world. If you run after power, fame, prestige, money and things like these, even if you achieve them, you will not be contented. With God, it is a totally different matter. If you have lived your whole life searching for God and you still haven’t found him, you will still be just as joyful as an enlightened man and that is the beauty of a seeker.

A seeker is someone whose thirst is quenched even if he hasn’t drunk any water. Just his search and longing to quench his thirst in itself is a kind of satisfaction. Only a few people in the world are fortunate to realise this.

Little Things that Matter Much – How to make Life Meaningful?

A lot of people in the world are in search of meaning. How should I make life more meaningful? – This is the question that a lot of us ask ourselves when things do not seem to go right. A lot of people in the outside world are eager to sell you their products so that your life becomes more meaningful.

Somebody is out there giving motivational speeches, someone has become a life coach, someone is trying to make sense out of the lines which are on your palms and so on. The self-help industry has become a huge market in itself, but what is the point of this?

People have become sick of working for their nine-to-five jobs and so they are trying to find alternative ways to earn money. Helping others has become an alternative form of income. To most people it has become a full time job.

I do not have any problem with people trying to help others, but not unless you have experienced something of any value in your own life.

The people who are helping others make life meaningful are simply fooling themselves and others because life in itself is meaningless. There is no purpose to life.

With all of that being said, you can make your life beautiful if you wish any moment if you are willing to understand certain aspects of life which are very subtle.

Life becomes beautiful in doing the little things. If you have not mastered the little things in life, everything you do in order to add meaning to your life will just make your life more meaningless.

  • Little Things that Matter Much:

When I was in school, we used to have this small booklet that was given to us every year. In this booklet we had the schedule for that year. There was a certain page on this booklet which had this line, “Little things that Matter Much”. On this page, the teacher had to write anything positive that she would notice about the student. If you have done something good, the teacher would write a remark on the page. Unfortunately, that page in every students booklet would always remain blank. In fact, very rarely would anybody get a positive remark.

Years later, I realised that little things do not matter much, at least, to the world that we are living in. The people who are responsible in providing you an education as well fail to see the little good things that students do.

As a result of this conditioning, we grow up to think that perhaps, we need to do something great in life in order to be appreciated.

When I first began learning and applying mysticism into my life, I realised that it is only the little things in life which we do that matter. Everything else in life which is done in order to add meaning is a complete waste of time.

  • Life Does not Demand for you to be Special:

Life does not want any individual on this earth to do anything special because life has already made a human being special. If you try to become special, you will not become special, but retarded. Many people have become retarded in the world simply because they have forgotten the fact that they are already unique.

An individual is not to become unique but to recognise his or her uniqueness. Once you have recognised your uniqueness, then there is no problem at all. Once you know that you are unique, you no longer try to be something. In identifying your uniqueness, you simply relax and stay the way you are.

  • Being brings beauty to every Action:

Once you have realised that you are already unique, then being becomes simple. Out of this state of being whatever you do is beautiful.

A man of being has a signature of his on every action that he performs. Every little thing that a man of being does becomes beautiful, because the man is beautiful within himself. Ugliness cannot arise out of a beautiful person. On the other hand, if an ugly person tries to do something beautiful, it will automatically become ugly.

Have you not noticed this in your own life? You try your best to make others happy, but somehow, you end up messing things up. You ruin other people’s lives, your relationships become topsy-turvy and all sorts of crazy things keep happening simply because you have put too much focus on your actions as opposed to your being.

Actions arise out of your being. Strive to make your being beautiful, and then every action will follow your being like a shadow.

  • Bringing Love to the “Little” actions:

Now that we have created a base for the entire topic, we can get into further details. Now that you have understood what the being is, we can look at the little actions that matter.

In life, there are hundreds of activities that you perform on a daily basis, or if you’re lazy like me, then perhaps you may perform a few activities here and there. The point is to do all of these activities with love.

When you bring love to every action that you do, your life starts to become more grounded. Always remember that the role you play in the outside world is not what gives you the real identity. What you do in the outside world is simply a fallacy. In the office, you may be the boss, but that doesn’t matter because at home if your wife treats you like a slave, that is what you really are.

The role which we play in the outside world is simply a role, it is not our reality. Whatever you do in the outside world is something which is demanded from you. If you are demanded to do a certain task in a particular way, you will do it. You may receive credit for it, but do not think that you have become great as result of what you’ve done.

  • Love is the Only thing that makes you Great:

Love is the only thing that makes a person great. If you do something just because it is your duty, then you are just a slave. When you do something out of love, the slave that is within you dies. Suddenly a mystic is born within. Mystics are not born in the world, they are given birth to by themselves.

Your parents can only give birth to that part of you which is not you. What you refer to as birth is simply the birth of your body. The real thing which is inside you has to be given birth to with your own insight and understanding of life.

Therefore, unless you come to a point in your life where you get rid of duty, whatever you do will become ugly. The being cannot be given birth to out of ugliness.

The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you express yourself, the way you are when nobody is around – all of these things matter more than what you can imagine. If any of these simple things in life cannot be done with love, grace, and beauty, then your life is a waste. Then no matter what you do in life, your life will be meaningless.

  • The Story of Mary, Martha and Jesus:

There is a story of Jesus in the Bible which I had heard as a child. It is one of the most beautiful stories that I have heard. As a child, I perhaps did not understand it at all, but because the story was beautiful, it remained somewhere at the back of my mind.

As I’m writing this, I suddenly happened to remember that story. The story is that Jesus comes to visit the home of Martha and Mary – Two sisters who happened to be very close to Jesus. Both these women had great respect for Jesus. You can say that they were very good friends. When Jesus entered their home, Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and began listening to Jesus’ words. Martha being a very formal person immediately ran into the kitchen to prepare a meal for Jesus.

Jesus’ arrival was unexpected. Therefore, Martha was probably having a tough time in the kitchen, and so she says to Jesus, “Lord, are you not concerned that I am left alone here to serve?” “Can you please tell Mary to help me here in the kitchen?” Jesus being an eccentric man says to her that she shouldn’t be worried about all of these trivial things. In fact Mary has chosen to do the right thing which is to listen to my word.

  • Reflections on The Story:

For a person looking at this from a superficial perspective, it may seem as though Martha was more considerate and hospitable, but Mary was more simple when compared to Martha. She was more concerned about her spiritual growth. A man like Jesus does not care about hospitality. Jesus could see clearly through a person’s heart. Martha was more concerned about service. She was more concerned with impressing Jesus. Mary, on the other hand had chosen to just sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to his word.

Jesus’ response to Martha makes us feel as though Jesus is crazy, but this story has a very important message. Jesus was basically pointing out to the fact that in life, what you do doesn’t matter at all. What matters is your heart and your quest to become more in life.

Martha was more formal, but Mary was not concerned about formality. She was seeking to have a deeper communion with Jesus. These are the little things in life that makes a person great.

  • Every Genius in the world is simple:

There are thousands of examples in the life of various mystics in the world where they continually emphasise on the person’s consciousness as opposed to the actions. We are always concerned with doing great things in life but seldom do we think about doing those so-called great things with love.

When Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to him, it was out of great love. Her love for Jesus was so tremendous that it didn’t even cross her mind that perhaps, Jesus must be hungry. Maybe, I should ask him whether he wants some food or drink.

Her action was so simple that it may have seemed very selfish of her to forget about everything and focus about her own spiritual growth, but this is the beauty of being simple.

There are stories of Buddha just sitting in meditation and the entire atmosphere around him changes so much that flowers begin to shower on him. Now for a person who is too concerned with action, this may look silly. Sitting in silence is such a simple act, but even an act as simple as that can make the flowers shower. These stories may not be factual but they all point to a great truth. The truth is that it is always the little things that make a person great.

  • Final words:

Buddha, Mahavir, Jesus and every other mystic in the world have lived such simple lives with no goal, and just look at the impact that they have created. Mahavir would roam around naked – now what is so great about that? But that is Mahavir’s simplicity. To an ordinary person it does not matter at all, but to Mahavir it was his entire standpoint in life.

Mahavir’s nakedness was a message that in life we do not come with anything. Someday, we need to leave everything that we have in this world. You can roam around naked like Mahavir, but it won’t have the same beauty. You can sit in meditation for hours like Buddha and it won’t matter at all. You can drink wine, eat meat, and roam around with criminals like Jesus did, but it won’t be the same.

The actions that you do don’t matter, but the simplicity with which you do them makes all the difference. If you try to do the same things that Jesus, Buddha and all the great people in the world do, you will fail miserably because what they did is of little significance as opposed to who they were.

Being is more important. Be loving and simple and let every action arise out of that purity of consciousness and you wouldn’t have to bother about making life meaningful at all. Meaning follows like a shadow to those who know how to just be.

How to be Intimate with oneself and why is it Important?

Intimacy is one of the major aspects of any relationship. It is one of the essential ingredients for any relationships to be successful. A relationship without intimacy is like a tree without fruits. The tree in itself may be quite beautiful, but what is the use of its beauty when it has not reached fruition?

Most people in relationships try their best to be as intimate as possible with their partner, but somehow, things don’t work. Intimacy is not something that can be planned. Intimacy is a certain synchronicity that exists. It is a certain dialogue that happens in silence between two lovers. It is a certain invisible energy that engulfs two people in such a way that they are no longer two.

All of this may sound beautiful and too good to be true. Certainly, intimacy is a hoax for those who have not understood what it means to be intimate with oneself.

Now being intimate with oneself may sound very strange, but it really isn’t. In life, everything starts with oneself. If you want to love others you have to first love yourself. If you want to help others, you have to first help yourself and so on.

To understand anything in life, you always have to start with yourself. This is the reason why I decided to write about the subject. Now, if I try to get into all the details, I’ll probably end up writing an entire thesis. So just for the sake of keeping this article short and simple, I’ll discuss just a few important details related to intimacy.

I would like to discuss three virtues that are an integral part of being intimate with oneself. These three virtues if applied in one’s own life correctly will become a stepping stone towards achieving a harmonious relationship with your partner.

  • Patience:

Patience is one of the essential virtues in life. Most relationships and marriages go down the drain simply because you have not been patient with your partner.

A human being is a vast phenomenon. There are so many aspects to an individual that each aspect needs a tremendous amount of time and attention so that an individual can come to the ultimate flowering someday.

If you’ve ever read the Jataka tales by Buddha you would notice that each story that is explained involves meditating on a certain virtue. For Gautam Siddharth to become a Buddha, it was a struggle of many lives to develop every virtue possible to finally reach enlightenment.

Patience is one of those virtues that one has to develop in one’s life. Unless you have not understood what it is to be patient with yourself, you wouldn’t be able to be patient with your partner.

In the midst of crisis, anxiety, and hardships in your own life, if you have been patient with yourself, then you have taken a huge step towards intimacy. This patience that you have developed in your own life will then help you be patient with your partner.

The reason you can’t tolerate your partner is because you have not yet been able to tolerate your own self. In your own life, you have not given time for yourself to grow and be more. How can you help your partner’s growth when you have not learnt the basic lesson of patience in your own life?

  • Trust:

It is impossible to trust another human being simply because the other is very far from us. As far as the physical distance is concerned, you may not be as far away from your partner, but I’m not talking about the physical distance.

The real distance that exists between two people is not the distance between the bodies, but the distance between the souls. This distance or gap that exists between two people can only be bridged when the distance between oneself and one’s own soul is bridged.

Trust is one of the ways of bridging this gap. Just as trust brings two people together, similarly, trust in oneself brings you closer to your own soul. Right now, you may not understand what your soul is, or who you are. All these terms may seem metaphysical, but you need to trust in it in spite of the fact that these things may seem just metaphysical to you.

For example, when you look at a tree and say “This is a tree” you trust your eyes for what it shows you. You don’t say, “Well, I don’t know what that is, it should be a tree, or perhaps it is a star, I don’t really know!”.

Your eyes simply reflect what is in the outside world. In the same way your being reflects who you are. Trust it, and go where it leads you. There will be times when you may fall into a ditch, but let your trust stand tall. A day will come when you will trust in yourself so much that even the greatest setback will not let you down.

When you develop this quality of trust in yourself, only then you will be able to trust your partner. This will bring tremendous intimacy in your relationship.

  • Forgiveness:

We all make a big deal about little mistakes that our partners commit. You may say, “little mistakes?” Well, my partner cheated on me. My boyfriend slept with another woman. Is that a little mistake? I don’t really know, but what I do know is that your partner would not be able to cheat on you if you didn’t put the condition that they should remain faithful to you.

We put all sorts of restrictions on our partners and then complain that they cheated on us, lied to us, or deceived us. As human beings we should stay within our limits when it comes to our expectations from others. Be as natural and simple as possible and then, forgiveness will be easy.

All mistakes that human beings commit are simply part of what it means to be human. In fact, being a human being is enough proof that mistakes are possible with you. Only enlightened people do not commit mistakes.

It is not surprising that you find it difficult to forgive your lover, because you perhaps may have not been able to forgive yourself. Just look at your life right now and you will notice a thousand wounds. These wounds exist because you have not been able to forgive yourself. How can you forgive your partner if you yourself are wounded?

When you are in deep suffering, you would like that your partner suffers as well, and so, you will try every possible way to not forgive them. On the other hand, if you have been compassionate and loving with yourself, forgiveness becomes easy. Only a human being who has understood his own flaws and accepted them can come to an understanding of the flaws that exist in another human being.

  • Final Words:

You can be intimate only when you can look beyond the human flaws that exist in your partner, and see that behind all these flaws, there is something eternal and timeless.

If two human beings can be intimate with each other then living in a beautiful world would no longer be a dream, but a reality.

Unfortunately, all qualities that are possible for a human being are being imposed on God. If we strive towards developing these qualities in our own lives, then all relationships on earth will become not just beautiful, but divine.

But before we go on to making our relationships with others beautiful, it is important that we understand and make the relationship with ourselves beautiful.

How Can Intimacy create Lifelong friendships?

We are all advised as children to beware of strangers. Our parents have always told us to keep a safe distance from people whom we do not know. While that may seem like golden advice, I don’t think there is any advice that has affected relationships between individuals as much as that statement has done.

The advice that you should beware of strangers is something universal. Every individual at some point has received it. It doesn’t matter which part of the world you belong to. We all have been told to beware of strangers at some point in our lives. One of the greatest misfortunes that have happened is that intimacy has not become possible because of this strange advice. Intimacy is the key ingredient to all relationships in life.

Whether it is the relationship between lovers, friends, parents and kids, husbands and wives, does not matter. If intimacy does not exist, then all relationships are bound to lose flavour at some point.

  • Everybody is a Stranger:

One of the most basic understanding is that we are all strangers. Whether you personally know someone or not, that doesn’t matter. The only difference is that there are known strangers and unknown strangers. A random person walking on a street is an unknown stranger.

Your parents, friends, lovers are all known strangers, but what difference does it make. Whether known or unknown, ultimately, we are all strangers to each other. In fact, we do not know ourselves either.

This understanding that everybody is a stranger brings a sense of meaninglessness to one’s life. One feels as though one is alone on this earth. Forget everybody else, one feels as though one does not have his own self. What is the point of living on this earth where we are all strangers to each other?

  • A Blessing in Disguise:

The fact that we are all strangers may seem like a curse, but it really isn’t. The realisation that we are all strangers for the first time will give you a feeling of fearlessness.

All this while, the reason why you were unable to relate to people is because you created a division between the people who were known to you and the stranger. When this division disappears, then, for the first time, there is a possibility of relating with each individual that you come across because there is nothing to lose.

  • Open yourself up to a stranger:

When a person has nothing to lose, only then he can open up with another person. Right now, you feel as though you have too much to lose, but you really don’t.

We come into this world empty-handed and yet, for some strange reason we all feel like we’re loaded.

Yes, certainly, we are all loaded, but not with any kind of wealth, but simply junk. If you are willing to keep your junk at the cost of losing an opportunity to be intimate with a human being, then perhaps, you must be the world’s greatest coward.

Therefore, one should always be open and receptive to existence and everything that it has to offer. When you walk on the street, smile at people, and do everything you can to initiate conversation. I have seen people walk the streets like zombies. People seem almost dead, lifeless, and roaming around as though the entire world’s load is upon their shoulders.

We need to create a world full of joyful, fun loving and playful people – only then life will become meaningful.

  • Always be The First one to take the Initiative:

When it comes to being intimate with a stranger, always be the first one to take initiative. Don’t wait for the other person to open up. Always be the first one to open up to the other person – this will give the other person the courage to be open.

If you are open to another individual right from the beginning, then there is a higher chance of you having a lifelong relationship with the person. When I say lifelong, I am not only referring to the length of time that your friendship will last, but also the quality of it. Any relationship when initiated in openess is lifelong in the sense that even if it ends someday, there will be no felling of bitterness towards the other person. Neither will the other person feel bitter towards you. The separation will be out of mutual understanding and love for each other. By lifelong, all I mean is that it would be impossible for you to create an enemy out of the other person. Enmity brings life to a standstill. Two persons who are enemies are almost dead. It is

Therefore, from a certain persective, the relaionship becomes lifelong because although the friends depart, the friendship and love still remains and even if these two people meet after decades, they will be able to continue their friendship from where they left. In fact, often, the separation brings a completely new freshness to the friendship.

  • Showing your True Colours:

The reason we create enemies is because people start to show their true colours after a certain time has passed. After a few months or years, you feel as though the person is no longer the same from the time you met them – this is what creates enmity.

When you are true to a person right from the beginning, totally open, honest, not trying to hide anything, then the chances of losing the other person is very rare. In fact, it would be impossible for the other person to let go of you, simply because in this world full of fake people, it is rare to find a person who is as open as you are.

In this world where everybody is trying to hold on to things, you are among those rare individual’s that has nothing to lose. Only such a person, who has nothing to lose can create lifelong friendships. Yes, others may consider him to be an enemy, but from his side, there will be no enmity.

  • Friendships have no Goodbyes:

The first relationship that arises out of intimacy is friendship. Friendship is in fact, a necessary relationship for every other relationship to be possible. If friendship does not exist, then love is impossible.

Love always has a beginning and an end. Lover’s are bound to say goodbye someday because their love is based on certain ulterior motives. A woman may fall in love with a man because she may have the desire for sex, financial security, or perhaps she may have the desire to raise a child.

A man may fall in love with a woman because she is beautiful, or because he may just need someone’s shoulder to cry on. It does not matter how superficial or profound your desire is, a desire is a desire.

Friendship is free from all desire and therefore if a relationship is based on friendship, there is every possibility that the relationship will never end. A relationship based on friendship is timeless. It has a beginning but no end.

  • Final Words:

From the place I stand, friendships have always been significant. But always remember that the friendship can only have significance if it is based on intimacy. If you do not have the quality to be intimate, open and honest, then even friendship is not possible. Then even friendship is nothing more than a meaningless “hi” or “hello” just for the sake of formality.

What are your views on intimacy, and how has it changed your relationships with people? Do share your views in the comments down below, or shoot me an email on

Also, if you want me to write an article on a specific issue that you’re going through in life, do let me know via email, and I’ll be glad to share my insights with you.

Why are people afraid of Love?

There are thousands of things in the world that make life beautiful but none of them can be compared with love. Love is the ultimate bliss that life makes possible to man. Unfortunately, for most of us, love has proven to be a bitter experience to say the least. Falling in love seems almost like getting oneself into unnecessary problems. This is why most people settle down for substitutes.

One thing is certain that man and woman cannot live without love. Therefore, if love does not happen between human beings, then people start creating substitutes. When I say that you create substitutes, what I mean is that you start associating love with things which are mostly materialistic.

People use the word love when talking about materials. What do they mean when they say, I love food, I love wine, I love football, I love playing video games and so on? The list of things that we love is endless. We are living in a strange world where people fall in love with everything but human beings.

Why does this happen? That is exactly what I will be discussing in today’s article.

  • The Higher and Lower Forces:

A human being at every stage of his life is being pulled continuously by two kinds of forces: The lower and higher. The lower forces have a great impact on man’s life because they force man to live in mediocrity. To live in mediocrity is very simple because we are used to living like that since the time we are born. Mystics say that we have been living like that for lifetimes.

Therefore people easily get addicted to drugs, alcohol, and all kinds of things that make life more mediocre. Mediocrity is comfort, but comfort brings death. Thousands of people in the world choose to live a mediocre life because in mediocrity there is no challenge involved.

Love is the greatest challenge there is because in love one rises to the ultimate peaks. Love is a higher force that keeps pulling man upwards. The problem is that people are afraid of heights. Phobia of heights is not only a fear of physical heights, but also metaphysical heights as far as the spiritual world is concerned.

Being afraid of heights is a phobia that exists in every person because the higher you go in life, the greater is the danger. Love is challenging because in love there is a fear of falling down.

  • The Fear of Death:

Love is the ultimate death. The physical death does not take away much from a man apart from his body. Love, on the other hand, takes everything from you that had value. One of the greatest treasures that love takes away from you is your ego. The ego is not really a treasure, but the fact that so many of us cling to it is what makes the ego seem so attractive.

People would rather die than let go of their ego – this is the problem. You can either have one of the two things. You can choose love and give up the ego or vice-versa. From what I have observed, a majority of the people in the world choose the ego. They then start playing with toys. They start associating love with all kinds of toys.

They fall in love with non-existential things. The beauty of falling in love with food, cars, video games and all of these things is that they do not respond back to you. Some people fall in love with pets because pets can be controlled. You cannot control a man or a woman like you can control a pet.

  • In love, all fantasies disappear:

In love, all fantasies disappear which is why people are afraid of love. When you are far away from a man or a woman your mind can imagine a thousand and one things. It can make even an average looking woman seem sexy. Even a man that is not attractive in any way can have you drooling because the way people present themselves and the way they really are, are two completely different things altogether.

To just be infatuated by external beauty is simple but the real challenge is to live with a person who is full of flaws. The truth is that all human beings are full of flaws. You will rarely come across a human being that is flawless. The entire art of love lies in recognising that one quality in a person in the midst of hundreds of flaws.

The light of one candle no matter how small can light thousands of candles. In the same way, that one quality that exists in a human being is enough to transform the entire person if you love him.

  • When you love a person…

When you love a person, even a thousand flaws don’t matter because love is the ultimate alchemy there is. If your love is true, then the person who you love will become one of the most perfect human beings because love only knows perfection.

Perfection is the language of love. Love knows no such thing as imperfection. I have heard a lot of people tell me that they have tried loving a person and the person did not change at all. That is right. Your love may not necessarily change another person but it definitely changes a lot of things in you.

Therefore, In my own life, I have always tried to love as much as I could without being concerned about the other person. Yes, the other person may change as a result of my love, but my intention was not to change the other person. The joy of loving another person is not the fact that the person may change as a result of your love. If that is the case, then your love will become goal oriented.

If you are seeking to change another person by your love, then your love will become a forced love. Forced love is more worse than hate. When you force love, you are not really loving instead you are trying to prove yourself superior to the other person.

  • Observing Nature, You will Understand what Love is:

Nature is the greatest master that man can ever surrender to. An individual who can carefully observe nature will learn everything that life has to teach. All the religious scriptures of the world are nothing compared to this vast existence itself. This existence is the greatest scripture of the world… far more valuable and profound than your Quran, Gita or Bible.

If you ever observe nature, you will notice that it never forces love. For example, a tree bears hundreds of fruits but it stays where it is. It does not go from one person to another trying to force them to eat its fruit.

Similarly, a river keeps flowing but it does not force anybody to drink from it. If anybody needs water, the river is always available and open. That is how love is. Love is an open phenomenon.

Love is the only celebration where no invitations are sent, but everybody is welcome to the party. If someone does not participate in the celebration, love does not feel sad. Do you think just because you’ve not eaten a fruit from a particular tree that the tree feels sad? I don’t think so. The tree goes on dancing whether you eat its fruit or not. The apple tree won’t feel jealous if you eat a mango from a neighbouring tree. In that sense, trees seem to be far more sensible and compassionate than human beings.

  • Forced love always places the blame on another:

As human beings we always want to force ourselves on others. In that very attempt to force love, love is destroyed. You then place the blame on the other person. You make the other person feel like a victim just because they couldn’t participate in your love. This is simply illogical and foolish.

Love never blames the other person. Love gives itself totally, but never expects the same from the other. This attitude of not forcing itself on another person is what gives love its beauty. The entire process of transformation that happens in love lies in the fact that love is very simple.

  • Final words:

When you love, don’t think in terms of changing the other person. When you love, simply love and you will see that a lot of things start to happen which seemed almost impossible.

If your love is goal oriented, then you will immediately become afraid because that goal may not be fulfilled. A fear will arise in you and you will avoid every opportunity to fall in love.

When you love, keep all your expectations, fears and cowardice aside and drown yourself in the experience completely. One thing is certain that as a result of deep love, whether the other person transforms or not, your life will certainly be transformed.

Also, if you’re single don’t think that love is not possible for you. In fact, love is the only possibility there is for a person who is alone. When you have a partner, your love is confined to a single human being, it is addressed. When you’re single, your love is neither confined nor addressed – this gives your love a certain vastness. Out of this vastness, if a human being happens to participate in your love, it will be one of the greatest feeling ever.

Existence does not Give Birth to Mediocre People!

Eat, drink, and be merry is one of the mantras that a lot of us follow. As far as my own understanding goes, this mantra is a major hit among people that love to live in mediocrity. It is usually followed by people that do not understand the depth of life.

Most people in the world live almost like animals: Eat, Drink and reproduce and die. The reason the world is suffering is not because of criminals, rapists or murderers as much as it is because of these “Eat, Drink and Be Merry” kind of people. Mediocrity is one of the greatest crimes. A criminal may someday become a sage, but a mind that is mediocre has no hope.

  • A coward always remains a Coward:

A coward always remains a coward. There is no hope for a coward. This life is only lived by two categories of people – Mystics and Sinners. I have used the word Mystics because saints are not really saints. All saints are mediocre individuals who are simply trying to pretend.

A mystic is a person who is completely devoted towards living a religious life and a sinner is a person who is completely devoted towards living a sinful life. For a sinner there is hope that he may turn back from his sin someday.

  • God Loves the Sinner:

You may have heard the phrase, “God loves the sinner”. I always wondered the reason why God loved the sinner. I then realised that a sinner is really a very simple human being. He is not concerned about his reputation in society. He is not concerned about anything.

A sinner is someone who is searching for God in all the wrong places and that is the reason why he commits sin. If someday, he encounters a mystic; his life will take a complete 360 degree turn.

  • No Hope for the Mediocre:

The reason I emphasised so much on the sinner and mystic is to give you a simple understanding that in life you can either belong to one of the two categories. If you are a mediocre person there is no hope for you.

Years ago, a colleague of mine and I were discussing about this while we were in the office cafeteria having our breakfast. My colleague was working for a good post in the organisation. I told her that it must feel great to work for a prestigious post. She told me that it was all futile. I remember her telling me, that in life only two kinds of people succeed: Either the extremely intelligent kind of people or the geniuses as we call them, or the failures, and dropouts.

She told me that as far as she was concerned, she had always been an average person. Even in school she was just average. She told me that If she had to choose she would either choose to be a topper of the class or a failure, but unfortunately she was just average. This whole being average thing remained with her even as she grew older. So, although, she was at a good post, she wasn’t really happy with life.

  • The Moment of Realisation:

The conversation I had with her gave me tremendous insight. I could see the truth in her words. I began to look back at my entire life and I noticed how I too fell into the same category of the mediocre kind of people.

Immediately, in that moment, I felt a tremendous sadness descend on me. Since that day, I started to do everything I could rise above my mediocrity. I didn’t want to be old someday and realise that I had wasted my entire life. I tried my best to do whatever I could in order to grow and be more.

  • Small Events in Life can be Crucial:

This conversation with my colleague happened back in 2013. I now look back at those days and realise how, even small events in life can be so crucial. If you really pay attention to life, you will notice that life always has profound lessons to teach us in order that we may rise above our mediocrity.

This colleague of mine was a very brilliant woman. She was not mediocre in any way, but she was way too identified with the fact that she was average. If she wanted to, she could immediately decide to give up her mediocrity, but perhaps the idea that she was just “average” had been ingrained deeply into her being.

  • No Human Being is Average:

Years later, I realised that no human being is really average. Existence does not produce average minded people. Existence does not give birth to cowards. It does not give birth to the “Eat, Drink and be Merry” kind of people. In fact, all of these things are actually social conditionings. Mediocrity is not our nature, but in fact, a social conditioning.

Always remember that the society that you live in is very mediocre, and because we live according to the society, we feel that we too are just mediocre.

  • You are More than what You Think You are:

For a moment, if you can imagine yourself to just be the way you are, without any conditionings, you will notice that you are more than what you think you are. When I say that, I do not mean it in an egoistic sense.

When I say that you are not mediocre, I don’t mean to say that you are some kind of a God. All I mean is that you are unique. Just like you, everybody else is unique as well. Hence, there is no reason to be arrogant about it. The moment you become arrogant, again you fall into the trap of mediocrity.

  • Final Words:

I want you to simply look at yourself just as you are. Don’t try to attach any kind of a label on yourself, because all labels are social conditionings.

The moment you associate yourself with labels, immediately you will become mediocre. Intelligent people do not need to live with labels. For an intelligent man, his intelligent is enough to support his whole life. Only a mind that is mediocre requires labels.

The day you realise that you are not mediocre; a profound sense of wellbeing will descend upon you. That will be a day of tremendous celebration because the day you realise your capabilities as an individual is the day you take the first step on the path towards self-awakening. From that day onwards, there is no looking back.

Let me know what are your views on this. When did you first realise that you were not mediocre? Do let me know in the comments down below. If you are facing any struggles in life, or if you feel like you are unable to overcome certain challenges, do let me know via Email at and If possible I’ll write an article answering your question. Your identity will be kept confidential.

Thank you for stopping by!

Silence – the Origin of All Creativity!

It has been a long time since I last wrote about creativity. I would like to talk a little more on the subject today. Creativity is one of the most ignored subjects. You will not find a lot of people talk about it, simply because not a lot of people really understand what it means to be creative.

In today’s article, I am going to talk about silence which is one of the most fundamental qualities required in order to discover your creative side.

  • Creativity in Silence:

The capacity to be silent is the capacity to be creative. A man who can be silent will notice a lot of changes in his life. This is why all mystics have emphasised so much on meditation. Meditation has been one of the basic teachings of all sages. Certainly, there must be a deep insight behind their emphasis.

Meditation calms the mind and reduces the flow of thoughts – this is what leads to silence.

Once silence dawns upon your being, then something inside you begins to surface. Never before did you ever know that something like this ever existed within you.

Only a selected few individuals in the world who have the capacity to be silent can discover this hidden treasure that lies within them.

The world that we’re living in has become too noisy. People are trying all possible ways to avoid silence. Perhaps this is why you do not get to hear any good music these days. Everything is just sensual. Sensuality is a result of chaos. Creativity is the result of silence. Therefore, all talk about creativity in today’s world is just talk. Creativity, in the world that we’re living in, or as we understand it to be is nothing more than sensuality.

  • Human Beings are Miniature Versions of this Earth:

An individual can be likened to the earth. The earth may seem hard and full of soil and impurities, but the same earth that is not so visually pleasing gives birth to all the things in life that we enjoy today. Billions of trees have their roots in the earth. The beauty of the tree comes from that part which is almost always ignored and mostly invisible. Not just trees, but a human being himself has his roots in the earth.

Your body is nothing but a miniature version of this earth. The moment you learn to be silent, you automatically go inwards. This going inwards is like digging the earth. It is like digging into yourself, but with no effort at all. Just being silent does the trick.

To achieve something in the outside world, you need to do thousand and one things, but as far as discovering your inner qualities are concerned, all you need to do is be silent.

  • Skill and Creativity:

Creativity is not a quality that is developed as a result of leaning a certain skill. In fact, it is just the opposite. The more skilful you are, the less creative you will be because skill is a substitute for creativity. Those people who do not know how to be silent develop skill.

If you try to learn to play a musical instrument from a university, you will never know what it is to be a musician. Similarly, if you learn how to paint, you will never understand what it is to be a painter.

Music, art, poetry are all secondary – your primary concern should be, “how do I become silent?” Once you have learnt how to become silent, you will gradually become creative and then there is no harm in learning a certain skill.

Creativity always precedes skill, but a majority of people in the world think of it in the exact opposite way. The moment you see a musician play a guitar, suddenly, even you feel like playing the guitar. Or if you hear someone sing, even you try to take singing lessons – all this is simply foolish.

First, find that part of yourself which is creative, and then develop the skill. Skill is that which helps you express your inner being better, but before you express something that is inside of you is it not important to first find out what exactly is inside you?

  • Final Words:

All creativity originates in silence. The first step is to become silent. Once you have learnt to become silent, suddenly creativity starts to reveal itself to you. Once you have found that part of you which is creative, then develop the skill to express that part of yourself.

These are the ways in which an individual can grow and become more in life. Although, the key here is silence. Silence precedes everything. Without it, creativity is just a dream, and skill is nothing but a false mask to pretend that you are creative.