#MeToo, Sexual Abuse, and the Modern Generation

There has been a lot of talk recently related to rape, molestation, and sexual abuse and as a man, it has got me thinking – What is wrong with the men of our generation? Recently, I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed and came across a lot of friends, both men and women sharing their stories of how they had been victims of sexual misconduct. There were a couple of my Facebook buddies who were probably not comfortable sharing their story and so, they just put up a status with the ‘metoo’ hashtag.

At first, I was a little confused as to what was going on until I did some more research and learnt about the entire “metoo campaign” that was started by a simple post by a celebrity asking people to share their sexual abuse story with the hashtag, metoo. What was the purpose? To get a sense of the magnitude of the sexual abuse problem that goes on around the world.

As much as I’d want to give you a straightforward opinion of what I think about the campaign, I feel the need to first explain and bring you to an understanding of a few things before I could come to a conclusion of whether I feel this simple campaign is any good or is it merely a way for people to rant about their problems.

First of all, I would like to start off by discussing few of the issues that most women around the world commonly highlight when it comes to abuse and the way women are treated in general by men around the world.

  • Society does not Allow Women to speak up:

I’ve heard a lot of people especially women tell me that the society is designed in such a way that it treats women in an unfair and unjust manner. Basically, women are not allowed to express themselves especially when it comes to talking about their insecurities. Women are told by society that they should not speak about their abuse or the childhood traumas they’ve been through.

I am really sorry to say, but that is not true especially in the generation we live. If you can talk about your abuse on a social network and let your entire friend list know about it without being afraid, then why would you fear to talk about your abuse with a friend, family member, or a close relative? I mean, think about it. You have a couple of hundred followers on twitter or maybe a thousands, a few hundreds or thousands of followers on Instagram and perhaps hundreds of friends on your facebook friend list out of which you may barely have a deep connection with a bunch of those friends.

So, basically, what you’re saying is that you have the courage to share your story on a public platform where you hardly know anybody, but you aren’t willing to share your problem with someone close to you?

Strange, isn’t it? This tells me that we live in a generation where getting sympathy or attention is more important than getting a problem solved. We live in a generation where men and women are no longer concerned with getting rid of their problems, but instead, they would rather talk about, and discuss about their problems on the world wide web. Why? The reason is simple. The ego craves for attention and sympathy and you get loads of that on the internet.

Let me share with you a story of one of my friends who had been molested many times as a child by her cousin. This friend of mine is a beautiful woman and the first time I met her, we connected very well. Soon, she shared her sad story with me and unfortunately, due to all thetraumatic experiences she went through as a young girl, she has developed a condition where she is unable to have sex with any man. Her vagina has become tight. Moreover, the moment she tries to insert her finger in, she feels pain.

When I heard this story for the first time, I was deeply hurt. I thought maybe, I should do something to help her out – maybe find a good gynaecologist or a therapist to help her get rid of this problem. That’s exactly what I tried to do. I had a close friend who conducts therapy sessions with people and help them get rid of their traumas. I contacted him and asked if he could help her. He said yes.

I was all excited to help my friend get rid of her problem. We scheduled an appointment with this therapist friend of mine. Everything was decided – the day, the time, and the place to meet. The night before we could meet, I get a text on my phone from her saying that a friend of hers had unexpectedly decided to go out on a vacation for a few days and she booked her air tickets on the same day and flew to Goa.

A few weeks before this as well, I tried to help her out and every time I would meet this friend of mine, she would continuously complain about how stressed out she feels. On various occasions I tried to help her out, but unfortunately, she would meet me with the same problems that she had a few weeks prior to the present meeting

I then had an aha moment. I realised that most people do not really like getting rid of their problems. This is especially true in the case of women. One of the major issue with most women is that they do not really want to get rid of their problems. They in fact take a lot of pleasure in talking about their problems – this gives their ego a certain boost.

What about men you may ask? Men as well are in the same boat, but men are different. Men do not make a big deal out of their problems. They may go through a thousand and one problems and perhaps, their problems may be even more serious than women, but they someone ignore them and move on.

Oh, what a misogynistic pig you are Herman! Before you come to conclude that, allow me to explain what I’ve just said. You see, men are not emotional. The truth is that men face just as much problems as women. A lot of men have also faced abuse, but due to the fact that we are not emotional, we settle down and feel at ease quickly.

  • The Problem with Men:

With that being said, men have another problem which is the equivalent of a woman’s emotional attachment and that is sexuality. Just the way women are way too attached to their emotions and cannot get rid of them, men are obsessed with sex and just cannot think beyond it.

A mystic named Barry Long had once said, “All men are sex obsessed without any exception”. As a man, I must admit that the statement that Barry Long had made had wounded my male ego to a significant extent the first time I heard it, but then, I thought about it for a while and I realised, the guy is not wrong either. I mean, men are sex obsessed and certainly without exception. Well, there may be a few exceptions but those exceptions are so negligible that they can easily be ignored.

To me, yes, certainly, all men are sex obsessed and especially in the modern generation we live in, this sexual obsession has been amplified a thousand times more with social media and all the technology that is made available to us.

Women as well have become overly emotional over the years and ever since social media has come into picture, it has become easier than ever before to gain attention and sympathy and boost your ego.

  • The Truth:

The truth is that problems like sex abuse, rape, molestation have always existed in the past just as much as it is our present reality. So why are we talking about it now? SImple, we have a platform to speak about and vent our emotions.

What can we do about it? We need to stop complaining. Ranting about your problems on social media is not going to help. In fact, it will make the problem even more worse. Men will start to feel guilty about themselves.

The funny thing is that those men who are really responsible for such abuse are not going to feel guilty because guess what? These men are secretly plotting their next victim. Also, such men who victimise women do not roam around in the open or make themselves visible to the public.

  • The Solution:

When I first learnt about mysticism and spirituality and started to apply it into my life, I was told that the world is divine. Every human being is an embodiment of God. These statements were far from true when I first heard them – at least that is what I had felt years ago.

A few years down the line, I gave up reading the news, watching the television and began to dissociate myself with all the negativity that I was surrounded with. Does this mean that I turned a blind eye or a deaf ear to everything that was happening in the world? Not really, but I was just trying to find my ground. I spent all of my time in getting a grip over my own life and getting back on track.

Today, just like before, I see a lot of problems that are part of society. I see women being abused and it makes me sad. I see men around the world trying to use women and treat them like sex objects and it makes me feel sad. I also see a lot of women being way too obsessed with their emotions which is why they get cheated on and taken for granted, but today, I see all of these problems from a totally different light

A society where men are not taught how to come to terms with their sexuality and women are not taught how to get a grip over their emotions cannot be a happy society.

Therefore, all of these campaigns and movements as I see them are just ways to get attention. If people are really interested in solving their problems then there is always a human being out there who can help – it is just that your mind is too much clouded with emotional junk and sexuality to see the good that is out there.

Women especially should not feel like there is no help. There are thousands of good men out there who are willing to give their time and attention to a woman. Also, there are thousands of women out there who are not all sluts as most men try to claim.

Existence always maintains a balance. Bad cannot exist without good and for every negative individual out there, there is a positive individual waiting to come into your experience only if you are willing to see the divine in every person you come across.

  • Final Words:

So, in the end, has #MeToo helped? Has it given us a sense of magnitude of the problems that men and women face? I don’t think so. This small campaign just like every other campaign or movement will only amplify problems.

Every human being goes through problems in life. The question to ask oneself is – Do I want to complain about it for the rest of my life, or do I want to get rid of it? If you want to get rid of it, then trust me, you will always find someone to help you out of your problem.

The existence of a problem is proof enough that a solution exists otherwise the problem wouldn’t be there. Another thing I’d like to highlight here is that it all depends on what you look for in the world. For example, let us say that we start a similar campaign like the me too only with a slight difference – Rather than trying to get a clue of the magnitude of problems that we face, lets ask people whether they’ve ever met someone who has changed their life for the better with the hashtag #metoo. I bet you would have just as much respone as the present metoo campaign got.

The truth is that there is a lot of good out there but the media only makes negativity go viral. We only hightlight and talk about the stupidity of the society. We barely acknowledge the good, and the lesser you acknowledge the good, the more bad will contune to prevail in the world. The more negativity you highlight, the more depressed, anxious and negative people will feel – all of this will slowly but surely create a vibe of negativity and we will turn this world into a living hell.

With all of that being said, I am not asking for you to be optimistic. All I am asking is for you to be realistic. Dont be optimistic, don’t be pessimistic – just be real and practical. If you see things the way they are, only then can you come up with proper solutions to help humanity.

As far as women are concerned, each woman should keep in mind that she needs to stop being emotional about her problems. She needs to be strong like a man to find a solution to her problems and not make a big deal about them no matter how serious her problems may be.Men as well need to learn from women that life is not only for sex. There are more beautiful things which are part of life such as love, connection, and friendliness. If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood and get a grip of their emotions, then she would always come across and meet the right man who can help her grow and achieve the real purpose of her life which is to love and be loved.

Men as well need to learn from women that life is not only for sex. There are more beautiful things which are part of life such as love, connection, and friendliness which all women crave for but unfortunately, because women are not left with any other option these days, they settle down for casual sex, promiscuous relationships or worse, abusive relationships. The truth is that every woman is love.If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood and get a grip of their emotions, then she would always come across and meet the right man who can help her grow and achieve the real purpose of her life which is to love and be loved.

If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood themsevles and get a grip of their emotions, then they would always come across and meet the right men who can help them grow and achieve the real purpose of life which is to love and be loved.

To me, this is the true definition of women empowerment. Woman empowerment is not about portraying a facade of strength on the outside while being emotional and weak on the inside. To me, woman empowerment is a woman’s ability to love in such a way that she makes the entire world a haven where human beings can again feel a sense of warmth and love.

Right now, the world is too cold and this coldness can only disappear if we start to approach our problems the right way and be open about it with people who can really solve them and not a bunch of strangers or followers over the interent who will give us a like or a retweet and amplify the problem in front of the world. Remenber, a solution helps, sympathy does not. There are millions of people who will sympathise with you, but just a few who can truly love you.

I Want you all to know that the problems which we are talking about right now have always existed and will continue to exist in the future in one form or another unless we do something to get rid of the problem on the fundamental level.

I would like to have your opinion on this. What are your thoughts? Also, if you’re going through a problem in your life or if you just have a question that you need to ask related to personal development or growth as an individual, feel free to email me at email@mysticmankind.com. I would be glad to help you out or write an article which would give you an insight on your problem.

Also, If you feel that this article can be of help to someone you know, please feel free to share it.

Law of Attraction – Why does it not work for me?

The Law of Attraction has become one of the most widely talked about topics ever since people got introduced to the secret. The first time I began writing, I was a little skeptical whether I should talk about the Law of Attraction simply because to me, a lot of people use the Law of Attraction for very trivial things in life. I somehow felt that the Law of Attraction had become just another way for people to fulfill their own selfish desires. To a major extent I was right, but over the years things have changed and I’ve noticed a lot of people use the Law of Attraction in order to move beyond the ordinary, mundane life. This is what motivates me to write this article.

One of the problems that people face in using the Law of Attraction is the fact that manifestation seems like an arduous process. There are two major reasons why this happens which I’d like to discuss.

  • Procrastination:

Procrastination is one of the major reasons why people are unable to manifest. The Law of Attraction is not just a thought oriented process, but an action oriented process as well. Of course, we all need to start with thought, but then, do not get stuck there for too long.

The process of thinking can be very pleasurable especially when you are thinking beautiful thoughts of attracting that beautiful partner, manifesting a vacation, making millions of dollars and so on. This pleasurable feeling of thought is what gets most people hooked.

Thinking then becomes not only a habit, but an addiction. This is where procrastination begins. Procrastination is basically an outcome of excessive thinking.

In my own life, there were times when I had everything in place. I knew exactly what I needed to do in order to attract a certain thing. Unfortunately, I feel into the trap of excessive thinking which thereby delayed the process of manifestation.

A lot of people talk about inspired action, but when you get so addicted to thoughts, you refrain from taking that inspired action.

A few other people complain that they do not know what action needs to be taken in order for manifestation to take place, but this is not true. Everybody is inspired to take the next step. It is just that we are too lazy to do that. The mind will say, “Hey, before you could take that action, you might want to just think a little more; perhaps, you did not exactly specify what you want”. This is how the mind helps you to procrastinate by making you feel that you still need to do more thinking.

The moment you feel that an action needs to be taken, ignore the mind completely. You will feel that you probably need to put more thought into the thing which you’re trying to attract, but always remember that inspired action comes only when your thoughts have reached a certain peak. An inspired action is an indication that you do not need to think anymore. Just act. The heart never procrastinates. It is the mind that procrastinates.

Initially the mind is very useful in the process of attracting, but you need to listen to your heart ultimately in order for you to see a tangible version of your desire.

  • Getting Rid of the Past:

There is a saying that you cannot solve your problems with the same thinking which you used when you created them. Most people directly dive into the process of attracting a certain situation or circumstance without getting rid of that old mind which had been engineered in such a way that no matter what you do, the end product which is manufactured is misery.

Yes, you may attract a beautiful partner, or a career, but all these things are just superficial. After a while, you would realize that all of these things which you have been attracting after applying the Law of Attraction are simply ugly things that have been delivered to you by the universe in attractive packages.

The problem is not the universe, but your old mind. Your thought patterns, your old habits, and your negativity will keep manifesting itself in beautiful forms. Unless you do not get rid of it, there is no possibility to attract anything beautiful in your life.

So before you could even start applying the Law of Attraction, it is important that you take the time to be present and get rid of any negativity that may have happened in the past. Meditation is one of the best ways to let go of the past. Once you have gotten rid of your past, then attracting a desired circumstance becomes a cakewalk.

What are your thoughts on this? Do share your views and opinions in the comments. If there is any specific topic that you’d like me to cover related to the Law of Attraction or any other topic related to spirituality or mysticism, do let me know in the comments or via email.

All or Nothing – The courage to put everything at stake!

Courage is one of the greatest virtues that a person can develop during his life on this earth. Unfortunately, most people do not understand what courage is at all. What most people understand as courage is simply cowardice.

All growth in life arises out of courage. Courage involves a lot of things, but one of the most important things to understand about courage is the fact that you need to put everything at stake. To talk about courage may be very interesting, but if you lack the ability to put everything at stake, then you will never come to an understanding of the joy, bliss and ecstasy that life holds for an individual.

I have tried my best to live a joyful life for years and I had always failed. I tried to play safe in life. I used to live life on a motto that everything should be done with a certain limit. Living a limited life is like having one foot in the grave and the other foot in the world – you are neither living, nor dying. Do you think a person who lives like this can ever be happy?

All of us are living like that. When I speak of the fact that we’re living a limited life, what I mean is that we are living in such a way that everything remains safe. Living a safe life means to calculate each step that you take. Most people think that this is an intelligent way of living, because a man who calculates never makes any mistake.

We are conditioned to believe that a person who does not make any mistakes is an intelligent person. The exact opposite is true. A person who makes no mistakes is unintelligent because to calculate means to plan. To plan for the future means that you cannot rely on your intelligence.

Therefore millions of people settle down with a perfect road map for their entire lives. Everything is already decided. The age you’re going to graduate, the job you’ll be working for, the age when you will get married, the kind of life you would live at the time of retirement, the amount of money you will collect so that there is no worry for the future and things like these.

  • One of the Most important Lessons in life:

One of the most important lessons that I have learnt in my life is that you can either have everything in the world, or absolutely nothing. There are no exceptions to this rule. If you try to stand somewhere in between and play safe, you will fail.

Years ago when I left my job to pursue my dream, my parents became very afraid, because I had left my job at a very crucial stage of my life. I was at a stage where in a few years my parents would be expecting me to get married, make a family and live a settled life. I was in complete agreement with them until I came to a point where life seemed really meaningless.

Yes, I was living a fairly happy life. I had a decent job, I was getting paid enough to support myself and my future, but I thought to myself, is this what life is all about? Something within me wanted to become more. It was not that I was sick or my job or anything. Neither did I feel like I needed to work at some other place. I felt absolutely meaningless. I left my job and spent more than two years simply trying to get my life sorted. I would spend hours of my time reading spiritual books.

  • Unconcerned about the Future:

I had forgotten my entire future. All that was real for me was me and my hearts longing to become more. At that time, I couldn’t really define what that “more” was. My parents and my friends would keep asking me, what are you upto? I would simply say that I was just enjoying myself. I would keep reading books, listening to spiritual discourses, reading scriptures and so on. I enjoyed doing that, but I had no clue why I was doing it.

When I was doing none of those activities, I would simply sit for hours in silence. My parents had given up on me completely. Years later I realised that I had become a completely new person. I wasn’t the same person I used to be before.

  • All or Nothing:

When I look back at my life, what I realised is that I had come to a point where I had made a clear decision that I was either going to die with absolutely nothing, or everything that life holds for me.

I would have been living a very peaceful life today had I chosen to continue to do what I was doing, but I would have been living a dead life.

All or nothing is now my basic standpoint in life. Life can become beautiful only when you can put such a condition in front of yourself that you are either going to have everything, or have nothing at all.

  • Half Bread is just as Bad as no Bread:

A lot of people think that it is impossible to put everything at stake. We feel that putting everything at stake is crazy because we believe that having something is better than to have nothing at all. Half bread is better than no bread – this is people’s motto in life. In my own life, that saying applies only when It comes to food. With everything else in life, half bread is not at all better, but dangerous too.

I would rather die starving with no bread, than to taste half a bread and then wish that I could have just one more bite. It is strange that in the entire world very few people become enlightened. Once in a while you will come across people like Buddha, Mahavir, Krishna, or Jesus. Such people are rare, not because enlightenment is not everybody’s right, but because not everybody is willing to put everything at stake.

  • Putting everything at Stake is a spiritual quality:

In all religious traditions, the idea of renunciation is almost a norm. In my view renunciation should not be taken literally, but you need to understand the idea behind renunciation. The idea is to put those things in life at stake which at the moment provide you comfort and convenience.

If you look at the life of a mystic, almost every mystic without any exception has renounced something or the other. Buddha had renounced his wealth and family, Jesus gave up his life, Mahavir renounced his clothes. Are all of these people mad or what? One thing is certain – either Buddha, Mahavir and all of these mystics who keep doing such crazy things are mad, or the rest of the world who are living in comfort are mad.

Both cannot be mad, and so, obviously it is not these mystics who are mad, but we who are actually mad. The proof of that lies in the fact that we are still suffering in life.

Therefore, to end suffering, renunciation had become a fundamental teaching, but due to our lack of understanding we have not really understood what renunciation really is.

  • What is Renunciation?

Renunciation simply means to renounce mediocrity. Yes you can renounce money, power, prestige and all of these things but after renouncing all of these things if you still remain mediocre you have renounced nothing at all.

For example, when Buddha left his palace, he didn’t really renounce his palace. His life in that palace had become a routine. He was bored of it. He was living a monotonous, mediocre life. He had reached a point where if he did not renounce his palace, he would have gone insane.

Buddha wanted to live a life of freedom and the Palace had become a bondage. He couldn’t breathe there, so he decided to give it up. Remember that Buddha didn’t give up his wealth at all, in fact, he was in search of a more subtle kind of wealth which he calls Nirvana.

If you look at all the things that mystics have renounced, you would realise that they were actually renouncing their mediocrity. A man can renounce his mediocrity only when he can see the possibility of having something more.

  • Final Words:

To give up all of those things in life in order to achieve something higher is the only real transaction in life. I call this the spiritual transaction. The risk is that you may not achieve what you’re looking for. This is why people don’t put everything at stake. The reason why people prefer to live in comfort is because results are not guaranteed when you give it all up. There is always that element of uncertainty which comes with giving up.

When it comes to the spiritual world, nothing is guaranteed. You may die like a beggar, but one of the most satisfying experiences at the time of death is to know that you tried your best. The search for God may not necessarily lead towards finding God. There are many people who have never found God, but even then, you will notice that they are contented.

This is one of the strangest things in the world. If you run after power, fame, prestige, money and things like these, even if you achieve them, you will not be contented. With God, it is a totally different matter. If you have lived your whole life searching for God and you still haven’t found him, you will still be just as joyful as an enlightened man and that is the beauty of a seeker.

A seeker is someone whose thirst is quenched even if he hasn’t drunk any water. Just his search and longing to quench his thirst in itself is a kind of satisfaction. Only a few people in the world are fortunate to realise this.