There has been a lot of talk recently related to rape, molestation, and sexual abuse and as a man, it has got me thinking – What is wrong with the men of our generation? Recently, I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed and came across a lot of friends, both men and women sharing their stories of how they had been victims of sexual misconduct. There were a couple of my Facebook buddies who were probably not comfortable sharing their story and so, they just put up a status with the ‘metoo’ hashtag.
At first, I was a little confused as to what was going on until I did some more research and learnt about the entire “metoo campaign” that was started by a simple post by a celebrity asking people to share their sexual abuse story with the hashtag, metoo. What was the purpose? To get a sense of the magnitude of the sexual abuse problem that goes on around the world.
As much as I’d want to give you a straightforward opinion of what I think about the campaign, I feel the need to first explain and bring you to an understanding of a few things before I could come to a conclusion of whether I feel this simple campaign is any good or is it merely a way for people to rant about their problems.
First of all, I would like to start off by discussing few of the issues that most women around the world commonly highlight when it comes to abuse and the way women are treated in general by men around the world.
Society does not Allow Women to speak up:
I’ve heard a lot of people especially women tell me that the society is designed in such a way that it treats women in an unfair and unjust manner. Basically, women are not allowed to express themselves especially when it comes to talking about their insecurities. Women are told by society that they should not speak about their abuse or the childhood traumas they’ve been through.
I am really sorry to say, but that is not true especially in the generation we live. If you can talk about your abuse on a social network and let your entire friend list know about it without being afraid, then why would you fear to talk about your abuse with a friend, family member, or a close relative? I mean, think about it. You have a couple of hundred followers on twitter or maybe a thousands, a few hundreds or thousands of followers on Instagram and perhaps hundreds of friends on your facebook friend list out of which you may barely have a deep connection with a bunch of those friends.
So, basically, what you’re saying is that you have the courage to share your story on a public platform where you hardly know anybody, but you aren’t willing to share your problem with someone close to you?
Strange, isn’t it? This tells me that we live in a generation where getting sympathy or attention is more important than getting a problem solved. We live in a generation where men and women are no longer concerned with getting rid of their problems, but instead, they would rather talk about, and discuss about their problems on the world wide web. Why? The reason is simple. The ego craves for attention and sympathy and you get loads of that on the internet.
Let me share with you a story of one of my friends who had been molested many times as a child by her cousin. This friend of mine is a beautiful woman and the first time I met her, we connected very well. Soon, she shared her sad story with me and unfortunately, due to all thetraumatic experiences she went through as a young girl, she has developed a condition where she is unable to have sex with any man. Her vagina has become tight. Moreover, the moment she tries to insert her finger in, she feels pain.
When I heard this story for the first time, I was deeply hurt. I thought maybe, I should do something to help her out – maybe find a good gynaecologist or a therapist to help her get rid of this problem. That’s exactly what I tried to do. I had a close friend who conducts therapy sessions with people and help them get rid of their traumas. I contacted him and asked if he could help her. He said yes.
I was all excited to help my friend get rid of her problem. We scheduled an appointment with this therapist friend of mine. Everything was decided – the day, the time, and the place to meet. The night before we could meet, I get a text on my phone from her saying that a friend of hers had unexpectedly decided to go out on a vacation for a few days and she booked her air tickets on the same day and flew to Goa.
A few weeks before this as well, I tried to help her out and every time I would meet this friend of mine, she would continuously complain about how stressed out she feels. On various occasions I tried to help her out, but unfortunately, she would meet me with the same problems that she had a few weeks prior to the present meeting
I then had an aha moment. I realised that most people do not really like getting rid of their problems. This is especially true in the case of women. One of the major issue with most women is that they do not really want to get rid of their problems. They in fact take a lot of pleasure in talking about their problems – this gives their ego a certain boost.
What about men you may ask? Men as well are in the same boat, but men are different. Men do not make a big deal out of their problems. They may go through a thousand and one problems and perhaps, their problems may be even more serious than women, but they someone ignore them and move on.
Oh, what a misogynistic pig you are Herman! Before you come to conclude that, allow me to explain what I’ve just said. You see, men are not emotional. The truth is that men face just as much problems as women. A lot of men have also faced abuse, but due to the fact that we are not emotional, we settle down and feel at ease quickly.
The Problem with Men:
With that being said, men have another problem which is the equivalent of a woman’s emotional attachment and that is sexuality. Just the way women are way too attached to their emotions and cannot get rid of them, men are obsessed with sex and just cannot think beyond it.
A mystic named Barry Long had once said, “All men are sex obsessed without any exception”. As a man, I must admit that the statement that Barry Long had made had wounded my male ego to a significant extent the first time I heard it, but then, I thought about it for a while and I realised, the guy is not wrong either. I mean, men are sex obsessed and certainly without exception. Well, there may be a few exceptions but those exceptions are so negligible that they can easily be ignored.
To me, yes, certainly, all men are sex obsessed and especially in the modern generation we live in, this sexual obsession has been amplified a thousand times more with social media and all the technology that is made available to us.
Women as well have become overly emotional over the years and ever since social media has come into picture, it has become easier than ever before to gain attention and sympathy and boost your ego.
The truth is that problems like sex abuse, rape, molestation have always existed in the past just as much as it is our present reality. So why are we talking about it now? SImple, we have a platform to speak about and vent our emotions.
What can we do about it? We need to stop complaining. Ranting about your problems on social media is not going to help. In fact, it will make the problem even more worse. Men will start to feel guilty about themselves.
The funny thing is that those men who are really responsible for such abuse are not going to feel guilty because guess what? These men are secretly plotting their next victim. Also, such men who victimise women do not roam around in the open or make themselves visible to the public.
When I first learnt about mysticism and spirituality and started to apply it into my life, I was told that the world is divine. Every human being is an embodiment of God. These statements were far from true when I first heard them – at least that is what I had felt years ago.
A few years down the line, I gave up reading the news, watching the television and began to dissociate myself with all the negativity that I was surrounded with. Does this mean that I turned a blind eye or a deaf ear to everything that was happening in the world? Not really, but I was just trying to find my ground. I spent all of my time in getting a grip over my own life and getting back on track.
Today, just like before, I see a lot of problems that are part of society. I see women being abused and it makes me sad. I see men around the world trying to use women and treat them like sex objects and it makes me feel sad. I also see a lot of women being way too obsessed with their emotions which is why they get cheated on and taken for granted, but today, I see all of these problems from a totally different light
A society where men are not taught how to come to terms with their sexuality and women are not taught how to get a grip over their emotions cannot be a happy society.
Therefore, all of these campaigns and movements as I see them are just ways to get attention. If people are really interested in solving their problems then there is always a human being out there who can help – it is just that your mind is too much clouded with emotional junk and sexuality to see the good that is out there.
Women especially should not feel like there is no help. There are thousands of good men out there who are willing to give their time and attention to a woman. Also, there are thousands of women out there who are not all sluts as most men try to claim.
Existence always maintains a balance. Bad cannot exist without good and for every negative individual out there, there is a positive individual waiting to come into your experience only if you are willing to see the divine in every person you come across.
So, in the end, has #MeToo helped? Has it given us a sense of magnitude of the problems that men and women face? I don’t think so. This small campaign just like every other campaign or movement will only amplify problems.
Every human being goes through problems in life. The question to ask oneself is – Do I want to complain about it for the rest of my life, or do I want to get rid of it? If you want to get rid of it, then trust me, you will always find someone to help you out of your problem.
The existence of a problem is proof enough that a solution exists otherwise the problem wouldn’t be there. Another thing I’d like to highlight here is that it all depends on what you look for in the world. For example, let us say that we start a similar campaign like the me too only with a slight difference – Rather than trying to get a clue of the magnitude of problems that we face, lets ask people whether they’ve ever met someone who has changed their life for the better with the hashtag #metoo. I bet you would have just as much respone as the present metoo campaign got.
The truth is that there is a lot of good out there but the media only makes negativity go viral. We only hightlight and talk about the stupidity of the society. We barely acknowledge the good, and the lesser you acknowledge the good, the more bad will contune to prevail in the world. The more negativity you highlight, the more depressed, anxious and negative people will feel – all of this will slowly but surely create a vibe of negativity and we will turn this world into a living hell.
With all of that being said, I am not asking for you to be optimistic. All I am asking is for you to be realistic. Dont be optimistic, don’t be pessimistic – just be real and practical. If you see things the way they are, only then can you come up with proper solutions to help humanity.
As far as women are concerned, each woman should keep in mind that she needs to stop being emotional about her problems. She needs to be strong like a man to find a solution to her problems and not make a big deal about them no matter how serious her problems may be.Men as well need to learn from women that life is not only for sex. There are more beautiful things which are part of life such as love, connection, and friendliness. If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood and get a grip of their emotions, then she would always come across and meet the right man who can help her grow and achieve the real purpose of her life which is to love and be loved.
Men as well need to learn from women that life is not only for sex. There are more beautiful things which are part of life such as love, connection, and friendliness which all women crave for but unfortunately, because women are not left with any other option these days, they settle down for casual sex, promiscuous relationships or worse, abusive relationships. The truth is that every woman is love.If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood and get a grip of their emotions, then she would always come across and meet the right man who can help her grow and achieve the real purpose of her life which is to love and be loved.
If more men understood this, then perhaps, there wouldn’t be any sexual crimes in the world and the same is the case with women. If more women understood themsevles and get a grip of their emotions, then they would always come across and meet the right men who can help them grow and achieve the real purpose of life which is to love and be loved.
To me, this is the true definition of women empowerment. Woman empowerment is not about portraying a facade of strength on the outside while being emotional and weak on the inside. To me, woman empowerment is a woman’s ability to love in such a way that she makes the entire world a haven where human beings can again feel a sense of warmth and love.
Right now, the world is too cold and this coldness can only disappear if we start to approach our problems the right way and be open about it with people who can really solve them and not a bunch of strangers or followers over the interent who will give us a like or a retweet and amplify the problem in front of the world. Remenber, a solution helps, sympathy does not. There are millions of people who will sympathise with you, but just a few who can truly love you.
I Want you all to know that the problems which we are talking about right now have always existed and will continue to exist in the future in one form or another unless we do something to get rid of the problem on the fundamental level.
I would like to have your opinion on this. What are your thoughts? Also, if you’re going through a problem in your life or if you just have a question that you need to ask related to personal development or growth as an individual, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would be glad to help you out or write an article which would give you an insight on your problem.
Also, If you feel that this article can be of help to someone you know, please feel free to share it.