Attachment is one of those things which has caused great harm to relationships all over the world. A man and woman have barely fallen in love, a few months, or years go by and things start to get bitter.
We all hope that love should last forever, but somehow, there seems to be nothing more temporary than love. We go through our entire life in such a way that love keeps slipping away from our hands.
In the midst of all this chaos that is part of our love affair, we often wonder if there is a way to help our love for our partner grow rather than deplete as years pass by. The answer to that can be both simple and complicated depending on how we organise our own lives.
Love is a Serious Affair:
Love is a serious affair. When you fall in love with someone, very rarely do you ever fall in love just for the sake of love. Love has a certain motivation behind it. A human being may fall in love to fulfil his or her sexual desires, or he may fall in love so that he could create a family, or he may fall in love because he may have a large amount of property and therefore, before he could die, he wants to make sure that his children can inherit his property so that he can continue his legacy even after his death.
Love is a very serious affair. It is one complicated phenomenon. If love happened only for the sake of love, then perhaps love would have been something eternal. The transitory nature of love comes due to man and woman’s endless demands and expectations.
Do not get me wrong here. I’m not saying that it is wrong to have desires; all I’m saying is that we have given way too much priority to our desires. This is what has made love a serious affair.
Desires Create Attachment:
Because of the fact that we’ve prioritised our desires, unknowingly, we create attachments. We have often heard that love should be free from attachment, but to most of us, that sounds too good to be true. Even the idea that love can exist without attachment is impossible for us to imagine.
Understanding attachment becomes simple if we understand desires. How can you create attachment with your partner when in the first place you have no desires or expectations from them? If you contemplate on that for a while, you will find that ultimately, the reason why love affairs turn into hate affairs is because of our grips being tightly held against our desires.
Don’t make Love a Serious Affair:
Love is not meant to be taken seriously. It is not your university examination or your job interview. Seriousness is part of the ordinary world. Love is not a worldly affair.
Love is a divine affair. It is not a business deal, it is more like poetry, or music. Therefore, don’t destroy the purity of love by trying to impose your own petty desires onto it.
Fall in love with a man or a woman with no idea about the future at all. Don’t plan beforehand on how many kids you want to have, which school you will send your kids to study and things like that. All these are arrangements. Love is not an arrangement. Love is spontaneous.
Become one with the flow of love, and you will see that as days and years go by, the love, intimacy and understanding between you and your lover grows deeper.
Friendship helps Love grow deeper:
Only an individual, who understands what being friendly is, understands what non-seriousness means. The quality of being friendly is one of the essential qualities for love to reach fruition.
Unfortunately, love withers long before it could even come to fruition. Friendliness helps the love between two individuals to grow deeper without creating any attachment. This is one of the strangest things about being friendly towards someone. In being friendly, you are not at all holding on to your friend and yet, for some reason, the friend keeps coming back to you.
This world is round and there is nowhere a person can run. You are so afraid that your partner will run away from you, but where can they run? If the quality of friendliness exists between two partners, no matter where they go, a subtle yet strong thread keeps them held together always.
Love can become a great adventure and one of the most liberating experiences if people can learn to be simple and friendly. If human beings can become a little playful and non-serious, all ugliness that is part of your love will disappear.
Always remember that love is eternal. Love lasts forever, but unfortunately, lovers don’t. The reason lover’s don’t last forever is because they do not take the time and effort to understand the eternalness of love, and the art of becoming one with it
The eternalness of love is only understood when the mind strives towards becoming free from all attachments. When all seriousness and attachments disappear, what remains is love.